I Hate Mondays

Today was one of those rough ones. I was in a school where I didn't know a soul. The halls were small and filled with new and different faces, none of which I recognized. Feeling rather small and vulnerable I simply gripped my book bag and stared ahead trying not to draw attention to myself... or get lost. Once I make it to the classroom, I'm a few minutes late and it's already started. I walk to an empty seat and the teacher called out my name, I smiled and nodded. The classroom was filled with the smell of smoke. My "classmates" aged from 30-50. I could almost hear their thoughts, "What is SHE doing in here for?" Being a homeschooler I had to complete a highschool equivilancy in order to be accepted into basically any college/university. This was one option of getting it that I was pursuing. Make sense? I was greeted by the news that I had aced the entrance exams into the program, which I was lead to believe was going to expel me from extra work. Good news right? Wrong. I had to do the same amount of work but far more advanced then the rest of the classroom. Way to rain on my parade first thing in the morning. After 3 hours of confusion I was about to face the worst part. Lunch hour, in a college full of people I didn't know. I'm a bubbly/social person and I make friends fast/easily, but this was already way out of my comfort zone and I didn't want to bother anyone. I always swore I was not gonna be 'that girl' who ate her lunch in the bathroom the first day of school. Soooo, I wandered the halls for a while. During one of my wandering sessions past the caff I spotted a pair of waving hands... they belonged to a familiar face. A friend I'd just met the day before. I walked over and sat with him, met his friends, and spent the majority of the hour there talking. First, and pretty much the only good thing that happened today. Yet, all things must end. So I was off to sit beside my classroom door studying until it opened again. The next 2 hours were long and I had to pee like the blazes. It ended and I made my way to the front doors where my mom was half an hr late picking me up. Yay more second hand smoking! Right after I got home I had to go straight to a rehearsal for a play I'm in. I was supposed to have my lines memorized a week ago but I have a large speaking role and a bad case of procrastination. That night we were running the play just with lines. I was screwed. The next two hours were spent with me trying to remember my lines and making a fool of myself. My director was disappointed and I knew it. During this rehearsal I found out that my close friend made it into the worship team at my youth group. Which is super exciting. It was just another thing to add to my tough day. See I have been going to this youth group for 2 1/2 years and have been trying to get into the worship team ever since I started attending. This was sad on my part that my friend who had just been coming since september was in it. I just need to remember to be happy for her despite being sad I couldn't be doing it with her.

The day is finally coming to a close now. I know this is kinda dumb and depressing, but it's kind of like venting by writing it all out. Today wasn't all bad. My sister made me laugh like she always does. I had my favorite cereal and chocolate milk (not together) for breakfast. I said "I love you". Met new people. Got to drive. Got complimented on my hair. Realized my complaining over my purse was nothing compared to my 15 pound book bag. Never complaining about that again. Got hugs from friends. Cuddled with my little sister while watching Looney Tunes. It wasn't easy but I think the day was worth it.

Still.... I hate Mondays.

Things I Love

Jesus!
My Family
Books
Drinking slushies all year round
Dresses!
My dogs
Music. BarlowGirl and Taylor Swift!
Doing hair and makeup
Taking pictures!
Weddings
Laughing so hard till your stomach starts to hurt.
Smiling, even when it hurts.
Mostly all animals. There are some exceptions.
Skyping it up with friends.
Long walks through the woods.
The wind.
PINK
Summer, Spring, and Fall
Christmas!
Making new friends
Swimming in really deep water.
Beaches
Blue skies
Writing on my hands/arms
My room
All my memories with my sisters.
My friends
Acting
Singing
Driving
My daisy rubber boots
American Eagle jeans
Campus Crew hoodies.
Colorful socks
Converse
Dr Pepper, Root Beer, Sprite, and Pepsi (its better then coke)
Fresh pinapple
Popsicles
White roses, water lilies
Wearing hair elastics as bracelets.

And many many more things that aren't coming to mind at the moment. lol Never stop loving no matter how many times you get hurt.

For Starters

Day 1)

Hello World of Blogging!

So, I've decided to make my own space for blogging which I can use as my own personal online diary, place to post inspiring music/lyrics, or quotes, ect. Anyone who reads my blogs will really get to know me. It'll kinda be like a glimpse of inside my head...not like anyone really wants to know what's inside my head but still I think this will be fun to post in. I will write about what I'm passionate about, pet peeves, inspirations, or just something random.

Food for thought -- I am an actress. I have been in theatre for 6 years and love every minute of it. Something I've discovered about life is that so many people around me are actors (and good ones to say the least). You have people who you think they are best friends, yet when you get one of them alone, they have nothing good to say about the other. Another source of acting is a person dying of cancer, and hide their fear with a smile trying to be brave but really their screaming inside. You have the girl, who gave all she had to a boy who left her high and dry. She lies to her friends that she's alright, tells them she's relieved to not be tied down, but really she's never been hurting more in all her life. Everywhere I look in almost all situations you see people acting. They act like everything's alright, like everything's cool, or like they really do care about what your telling them. It makes me wonder... If everyone was honest and took off the mask, what would the world be like? Probably chaos. It's made me want to dig below the surface. When you ask your friends how they are doing, do you really WANT to know? Are you asking to just be polite or do you truly want to hear an answer? How many times in your life has someone asked "How are you?" and you answered "Fine, Good, Not Bad,.ect" when really it was a total lie? Think about that. We've all done it. I'm not sure how to fix situations like this. Some people prefer to deal with things on their own. I just want to encourage people to care about one another. To be the person that others can talk to. I've failed at this so many times because I'm "too busy" to care. I want to challenge myself and anyone taking the time to read this to put their best foot foreward and start caring. Starting.... Now?